The "Good Old Days"

I hear a lot of yearning for days gone by.  This is not just from people in my parents' and grandparents' generation, but peers as well.  Lots of posts on facebook reminisce about days when you played kickball out in the street until Mom called you in for dinner, and there were no cell phones or video games.  "Repost this list if you were born before 1985!" is not something hard to find.

Certainly, that reminiscing isn't without merit.  There are inherently good things about not having everything in life be available at your fingertips or open until 4am.  And we sure did connect in a more personal and genuine way when we couldn't hide behind email and text, and when we couldn't cancel on our friends at the last minute because they weren't carrying a phone around with them.  I definitely worry frequently about what my future children's lives will be like.  I don't want them having a cell phone or a social media account when they are 8 years old, but am I realistically going to be able to prevent those things?

However, my thesis statement of this post is that there are things about the modern era that are better than past eras.  Racial segregation comes immediately to mind.  In the not-so-distant past, interracial marriage was illegal in many parts of the country.  (HORRIFYING thought, if you ask me).

Here's another example.  Last night Zach and I went to the first installment of a weekly film series at the Elsinore Theater in downtown Salem.  They were showing "The Quiet Man," which is a 1952 movie starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.  In many ways it is a charming movie about good old-fashioned romance.  The protagonist sweeps into town, romances a pretty girl, and works at asking for her hand in marriage.

The movie also has a significant darker side.  Throughout the second half of the movie, the plot revolves around a newlywed conflict.  The new bride refuses to consummate the marriage because the protagonist fails to procure some treasured/sentimental belongings.  While this may be immature and unloving behavior, part of his reaction is to grab her, slam her against a wall, and force an unwanted kiss on her while roughly holding her head by her hair.  He then picks her up and throws her on the bed with such force that the bed frame falls apart.  I half-expected that he was going to rape her, and was relieved when he did not.  (Credit where credit is due: he does take the chivalrous course of sleeping in the living room on the floor in a sleeping bag, instead of on the busted bed with her.)

Roughing up a woman and forcing a kiss on her is NOT romantic.

The plot continues with her running away because he will not demand her dowry from her brother (again, bratty behavior on the part of the woman...).  he chases her down, then physically drags her all through town while a large crowd is following them.  They are watching, cheering as he drags her along the ground, occasionally slapping/shoving her.  He then brings her to her brother, shoves her at him, and says that if the brother won't give up the money, he can have his sister back.  This would be one thing if the purpose of this scene was to highlight how wrong it is to view a woman as a possession or how wrong spousal violence is, but this scene was intended as comedy (and was accompanied by laughs from much of the audience.  Since they were from a different generation, I did my best to be understanding about this).

While watching this scene, I could feel my chest constrict and my face get flushed.  Maureen O'Hara's character was not being a good or loving wife, but violence is NEVER an acceptable response except as reasonable self defense.  I felt horrified that this was ever seen as comedy and not abuse, and I feel grateful that this kind of scene passed off as "comedy" today would launch an outrage.

I do still think that racial and gender inequality are problems in the modern world, but I thank God they are less problematic than they were a couple of generations ago, back in the "good old days."

Perhaps one generation or era is not better than another, but instead each generation or era has its own strengths and weaknesses: things to be proud of, and things to work on.