I keep sitting down to write in this thing, and coming up empty. Lots of complex stuff going on in the world, but if I take a position on something, I like to make sure that at least to my own standards, it's somewhat sort of airtight. And sometimes I have trouble articulating why I believe what I do. So sometimes events pass me by.
But right now there is 6 weeks and change until I am a married woman, so that is what I am sort of living and breathing, at least outside of work.
So here is what I have to say about everything.
When I was 20.5 years old, I moved out of my childhood home. I spent the first 2 years of college at community college and still lived with Mom and Dad. Once I chose OSU, it felt like the right thing, and the first time I visited it felt like home. Still, the whole moving out thing was scary.
Mom and Dad dropped Steven and I off (yep, we went to the same college, on the same day, and lived across the street from each other). Mom and Dad's leaving was delayed by helping us unload and a trip to the bookstore, but they couldn't hang around forever. In room 28 of Dixon Lodge, they hugged us goodbye, and as soon as the waterworks started, Steven bolted for his dorm!!
My parents leaving me at college felt scary, even though I was a little older than average to be going through this. They only lived 60 miles away and they were leaving us with a car; my brother was right across the street, and I had lots of friends from high school who were at OSU. I knew how to be a college student, I knew how to take care of myself and pay basic bills. There wasn't a whole lot about this that was going to be unfamiliar to me, but the whole idea of "going away to college" sounded big and scary, if exciting.
Similarly, the wedding details are coming along. I've had a long time to plan, and everything that is really important to me is in place. I even managed to lose 10 pounds, once I stopped trying (go figure).
Just like how, before leaving my parents' home, I had acquired the most important basic life skills, I do feel like I have some pretty good adult and relationship skills mastered. I have no fears about spending the rest of my life with Zach. We are not perfect together, but the nature and length of our relationship has tested and strengthened it. We will be fine. If I think about us living together and starting a life together, it just sounds natural.
However, when I think about it too hard, I get a little freaked out about the word "marriage" and my ability to be a..gulp...wife!! I somehow imagine that my dad walking me down the aisle will be akin to he and my mom dropping me off at college that first time.
Thus far, moving away to college was probably my most life-changing and dramatic transition, and I came away from it with a degree and a gaggle of some of the most beloved friends and memories in my life.
Getting married will be an even bigger transition, but I'm coming to realize that these things come with big rewards!!
Pray for us, friends!
