With God, all things are possible

I know of a few families lately hit by seemingly unbearable tragedies, one of them striking closer to home because both the bereaved and deceased have been good friends to me.  It's amazing how life keeps moving, how you go along with the daily routines when it's not someone who was part of your daily life, but when you stop to think about it, it just becomes unthinkable, unimaginable.

I find myself so amazed by survival in these circumstances.  I have serious doubts about my ability to withstand any such tragedy, about my ability to even want to.  So, especially since we Catholics are in the middle of lent, I have been doing the only thing I can think to do: pray.  I feel like I am benefiting unfairly from someone else's crisis, but knowing these people going through these life-changing tragedies has made me more prayerful.

The other day, I was praying a sort of meditative prayer, when I suddenly felt inspired to pray for joy for these people.  The moment the thought popped into my head, I felt annoyed, perhaps even angry with myself.  "Who am I to ask for joy for them?" I thought.  "Is that even appropriate?  Is that even possible?"

Whoa.  I just totally questioned God's power and His grace.

I literally questioned whether it was possible for Him to give joy to someone who was mourning.

Isn't that what He does?  Isn't that part of what makes Him quintessentially God?  Bringing joy to those who are weary with sorrow?

It can be annoying when people try to cheer us up.  It can feel invalidating, and sometimes it's about their inability to handle our pain rather than a genuine desire for us to feel better, or sometimes it's a mixture.  (Of course, sometimes it's genuine too.)

But joy is not happiness.  Happiness is fleeting.  It is an emotion, and it's a great one and we all should be able to experience it.  That, also, is not a bad thing to pray for.  Joy, however, is more permeating.  It is more like hopefulness and steadfastness and a sense of spiritual connectedness.  It is a source of strength, and at times of happiness, and it's not too much to ask, for anyone, no matter the circumstances.

I can't believe there was a moment where I doubted that it was a good thing to pray for.