On Sunday, my car stopped working. It wasn't entirely unexpected. It was a 2000 and I got it in 2009, so it wasn't exactly new then, and I managed to put a few miles on it. It was nearing the 220k mark. I was hoping, though, that it would at least last me until the wedding. Unfortunately, it didn't even get me to mass. (I think God understands). Considering that I was in Vancouver, and Zach's car was also in the shop, this was somewhat problematic. Work yesterday (Monday) was just not a possibility, and early in the day the mechanic I took it to let me know that the engine was probably done for, and that my best bet would probably be to look into something different.
Cue panic mode.
There is one guy I go to for car shopping, one guy who has always helped me find a good car and negotiate well for it, and that's my dad. But he was at work, and I didn't want to throw away my money on a second rental car for several days, knowing my car had a DNR order on it. Since I already was skipping work anyway, and since I was going to have to put in some hefty hours the next few days to make up for it, I decided that yesterday would be the day I got my next car.
Lesson #1: A new stage in our relationship.
Zach and I are getting married in 3 months plus a few days. He does not know NEARLY as much about cars as my dad. But looking back on it, I strongly believe this was something we needed to go through together. He helped me ask good questions, and I brought along my previous car buying experience, since this is my 5th car, and the second one I have financed. We made a great team. Who knows, my dad may have been able to tell me a little more about the car type (Pontiac Grand Prix) or helped me finagle down a few dollars (although I am pretty happy with the price) but I think it was a relationship-edifying experience for Zach and I. Even though our residences and finances are separate for now, we are preparing to combine these things, so this was a decision we made together, and I am so happy to have felt so supported in such a new and terrifying situation.
Lesson #2: Be Prepared
In school I've always been a procrastinator. I always found it hard to work on a paper if I wasn't staring down the clock. Curiously, in other areas of my life I've not been a procrastinator. In Child Welfare, knowing that an emergency could happen at any moment that would take me away from my desk all day and potentially make me work late into the night, I always started, and usually finished, any court reports far in advance of when they were due. When it comes to life milestones I'm excited about, I research them a lot. Maybe to the point of obsessiveness. I started applying for jobs 6 months before I graduated with my MSW, and had several potential "paths" in mind that I could take, depending on who was willing to hire me. I had my criteria for a job laid out, and I matched jobs that met those criteria with jobs where I would be a good fit for them. It meant that for the better part of a year I was doing something very draining and difficult, but it's led me to a job I'm very happy with currently. I am not stressing about my wedding because I have all the major details figured out. I know what kind of place Zach and I would like to live in as soon as its feasible, and I have a good sense of the market and what is available for what rental price. And, most notably, I have known for some time that my car would not last forever, so even though I've never felt ready to buy, I have researched obsessively, I know what's available at what I was willing to pay, I knew some things to ask about, and I knew which dealerships had a great reputation. I am very happy with both the dealership and the car I chose, feel free to ask me about it if you are in the market.
Lesson #3: Do everything you can to have a little money stored away.
I didn't make a large down payment. But I had enough stored away that making a down payment was a possibility. So even though buying a new-to-me car about 10 hours realizing that it could be necessary was stressful, I knew that it was do-able. Money doesn't solve everything, but sometimes it's nice to have a little cash to throw at an unexpected problem. I can do better in this area...and after this experience, I will.
And finally, Lesson #4: Smile.
I won't say that I didn't stress out about this. I did. A lot. Even yesterday after we had it all resolved, I tossed and turned for hours before falling asleep. But before you cry and make yourself crazy, step back from the situation, realize ways in which it could have been worse, recognize the blessings around you, and realize that no crazy situation like this lasts forever. My silver lining was coming away with a car with air conditioning (seriously, it has way more interesting features than that, but after 3 and a half years in a car with no AC, this was a BIG DEAL to me), and an increased sense of being able to make mature decisions.
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