I have been recovering from a bad bug for over a week, so on Wednesday I curled into bed a little early, trying to get some rest and heal. About 10:30, I was woken up by my husband scrambling to answer our ringing phone. He rattled off the number on the caller ID and I sleepily informed him that it was my mom's cell phone, then sat straight up. Mom is a nurse who works early in the morning and normally goes to bed very early. This couldn't be good. I went crazy for a minute or two trying to decipher my husband's "uh huh...ok...yeah" before he finally handed me the phone.
"I have some bad news..." she started out. My Grandma, my dad's mom, had passed away suddenly in her home. She hadn't been ill, she had even spent some pleasant time with some family members earlier in the day. I stammered through the phone call, completely stunned, and then before I even realized it, burst into tears as soon as the phone call was over. Zach, of course, was wonderful (even though he was shocked and sad too) and sat with me and helped me make some sense of it. Then, each of my brothers called and we talked about it.
The hardest thing is not having any advance warning. When my Grandpa died, it was a downward progression for a few months and I got to have one last real goodbye, and honestly, that helped. It is hard that I never got one last chance to tell her how much I love her (hint: a lot) or thank her for everything she's done for me. The good parts are that I got to have her around and involved in my life for 30 years, she got to see me get married and there are some beautiful pictures of her from that day, and the big things: she lost her beloved mother when she was a little girl and was quite attached to her father, who sounded like a very sweet and hardworking man. Then, of course, there is the son she lost when he was only 24, and last but not least, these last 8 years since my Grandpa has been gone, it has consistently been difficult to see her on her own. They were the loves of each others' lives, and they had been together since my Grandma was 15. The comfort I feel in knowing that she is not only reunited with all those people she loves, but that she is in the presence of God in paradise forever, and she will be waiting for me when I get there. That last part sounds so trite and cliche, and I just can't think of better words for it, but I couldn't not believe it if I tried. I just feel it.
My dad wrote the following post on Facebook. When it came up, I read it and cried for 30 minutes straight.
Mom died last night in the evening in her kitchen. She was I am sure humming to the music playing on her radio playing. My sister in law had talked to her at about 5:20 and she was about to eat her dinner and then crack some hazelnuts John had given her. Somewhere between there and 9:00 God reached down from heaven and took this angel to himself. She had recently said how much she wanted to see her mother again, as she died when Mom was seven. So as quietly as she lived her life here on earth she quietly went to to hold her dear mother and father. Only then to turn to Dad and Ken and greet them as only she could with her soft embrace. We are blessed to have had her with us. She didn't champion a cause, start a company, or write a book. She was a daughter, wife , mother, grandmother and friend to many.
In a world where people are told to stand out, she stood back. A world where women are told to be a leader, she was a giver. A world where a faithful woman is ridiculed , she showed her faith in God by example. Hattie Groeger Vandecoevering may be gone from this earth, but her life is legend, her love living on in many.
In a world where people are told to stand out, she stood back. A world where women are told to be a leader, she was a giver. A world where a faithful woman is ridiculed , she showed her faith in God by example. Hattie Groeger Vandecoevering may be gone from this earth, but her life is legend, her love living on in many.
He captures it perfectly. I want to be more like Grandma, and over the next little while will come up with a concept that represents her and maybe get another tattoo. (The tribute tattoo I got for my Grandpa truly does help me keep him close and reminds me of the virtue that it's meant to represent.) She cared for others in extraordinary ways, and you had to really talk to her to know about it. She did the right thing because it was the right thing, not because she needed to be recognized. I pray to be more like that.
The final thought that I want to share is that all your texts, calls, and Facebook messages have meant more than you know. I have not had many reasons to grieve in my life, and I had forgotten how powerfully comforting a simple "I am sorry for my loss, you are in my thoughts/prayers" can be. I know when I say that to others, it often feels inadequate, but even though no words can bring back a loved one, they can fill someone's life with love. Thank you, everyone, for filling my life with love in the last day or so! I'm so blessed in so many ways.
Grandma danced with me at our wedding in September <3
