Last winter, at the gym, my Group Power instructor mentioned to the class that she worked for UPS as a loader. As many of my friends know, my dad has worked at UPS since I was about 4 years old, so a few Group Power classes later, I approached her at the end of the class to see if she knew him.
She and I talked about UPS for quite awhile, and she said something that struck me. She was talking about how the UPS driver's schedule can be pretty brutal, and she wondered whether my dad was able to make it to my sport events or other after school activities much when I was a kid.
I remember him being there for some t-ball and soft ball games when he could strongarm his way out of work early. And maybe a choir concert and swim meet or two. And my mom always taped our grade school programs so he could at least see the video. I don't remember it once ever bothering me though. My dad spent tons of time with us on the weekends. He taught me to throw a softball and to wash my car. (And always told me I needed to learn to change the oil in my car, then would always end up doing it for me!) There were always lots of hugs and "I love you"s and he even got involved with my high school youth group, which met on Sundays. There has never, ever been a doubt in my mind that my dad loves me completely, and he has always been there for me.
So her question struck me a little oddly in the moment. I guess, no, my dad wasn't able to make it to most of that stuff, but was it that abnormal?
A few weeks ago I was talking to my dad about my youngest brother, about how he'd wanted to come home for the weekend and see a Beavers game, but he couldn't get away from work. I remarked that it was too bad that work got in the way of real life, and my dad said something about how that had been reality for him for a long time.
And then a whole new understanding hit me in the face.
My Group Power instructor wasn't suggesting that I grew up feeling unloved, she was referring to the fact that, due to supporting the family, my dad gave up a lot of things that I'm sure he wishes with his whole heart he could have been there for.
I hope and pray that I learn to give this kind of self-giving love to my future husband (310 days!) and future children someday. I feel so blessed to have two wonderful parents who have spent my life demonstrating Christian love for my brothers and I.
